You’re so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you. You’re so vain. I bet you think this blog is about you, don’t you, don’t you?
Ha ha! Just had that in my head this morning, so I thought I’d share it with you. Well, what a scintillating day today. The big excitement was two road rage incidents on the way home. One by a mini driver, who thought it was big and clever to sound their horn for about a minute, because, sin of sins, I pulled out to avoid a cyclist, which meant that the mini could not overtake me and had to pull in behind. Boo hoo. The second was a bloke in, guess what? - a BMW – who thought it was also somehow big and clever to drive just under the speed limit, then speed up when he managed to take his hand out of his pants for long enough to change gear. The poor, phallically challenged individual, then thought it was even bigger and cleverer, to drive alongside me and try to intimidate me into letting him pull in front of me when the road narrowed. Dear, oh dear. What is wrong with some people? I bet he went home and slammed a few doors, smashed a few things, and kicked the cat, until his testosterone levels had reached an acceptable level again. Either that, or he made a feeble attempt to shag his wife’s brains out, in a display of sheer and utter masculinity. (If the sad bastard has a wife, that is).
Ooooh, Jupiter has been aligning with Uranus. The fun has been ripped from that sentence by the BBC link woman saying it as “Urannus”, instead of the hilarious “Your Anus”, which would, of course, have been very very funny in an adult non-childish way. Lol! Two men playing with a large instrument in a field in the dark. Brilliant. Shame that Prof Brian Cox isn’t fit. Wouldn’t it be fab to see the Northern Lights here in Lancashire? I was sooooo jealous of bloody Joanna Lumley. That would be the top of my list of things to see before I croaked it. Maybe if I save a few Gurkhas, the BBC will pay for me to trek the Arctic Circle too. Or maybe I just need to get my tits out in a posh voice.
Why does tiredness give you a headache?
Right, that’s all for now. Evil plans don’t just hatch themselves, you know.x
Ha ha! Just had that in my head this morning, so I thought I’d share it with you. Well, what a scintillating day today. The big excitement was two road rage incidents on the way home. One by a mini driver, who thought it was big and clever to sound their horn for about a minute, because, sin of sins, I pulled out to avoid a cyclist, which meant that the mini could not overtake me and had to pull in behind. Boo hoo. The second was a bloke in, guess what? - a BMW – who thought it was also somehow big and clever to drive just under the speed limit, then speed up when he managed to take his hand out of his pants for long enough to change gear. The poor, phallically challenged individual, then thought it was even bigger and cleverer, to drive alongside me and try to intimidate me into letting him pull in front of me when the road narrowed. Dear, oh dear. What is wrong with some people? I bet he went home and slammed a few doors, smashed a few things, and kicked the cat, until his testosterone levels had reached an acceptable level again. Either that, or he made a feeble attempt to shag his wife’s brains out, in a display of sheer and utter masculinity. (If the sad bastard has a wife, that is).
Ooooh, Jupiter has been aligning with Uranus. The fun has been ripped from that sentence by the BBC link woman saying it as “Urannus”, instead of the hilarious “Your Anus”, which would, of course, have been very very funny in an adult non-childish way. Lol! Two men playing with a large instrument in a field in the dark. Brilliant. Shame that Prof Brian Cox isn’t fit. Wouldn’t it be fab to see the Northern Lights here in Lancashire? I was sooooo jealous of bloody Joanna Lumley. That would be the top of my list of things to see before I croaked it. Maybe if I save a few Gurkhas, the BBC will pay for me to trek the Arctic Circle too. Or maybe I just need to get my tits out in a posh voice.
Why does tiredness give you a headache?
Right, that’s all for now. Evil plans don’t just hatch themselves, you know.x
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